calculated happenstance

six bucks an hour for internet?

2011-07-16T21:37:00.000-07:00

well, unfortunately the hilton san fran doesn't offer free internet so i'm using my fancy iphone (you're welcome, jason) to let you know that the first full update will not be until monday night when we arrive in marina del rey. in the meantime, here's a brief teaser:

- china town, hills, little italy, lombard street, gelato, more hills, wine
- taxi driver debate, boudin, golden gate, alcatraz, fisherman's wharf, ghirardelli square, in-n-out, pier 39, cable car

tomorrow: napa valley...

"californiaaaaaa, californiaaaaaa, here we cooooommmeee!" - phantom planet

2011-07-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

my childhood friend summer and i are embarking on a week-long trek down the california coast tomorrow. i decided to resurrect this blog for the purpose of updating alllllllll of my fans (aka my family and like 2.5 friends) on our adventures during the week. so please check back periodically, as i plan to update nightly, or as free internet connection allows.

in the meantime, i've put together a little 'california mix' for our drive down the coast. as it turns out, there are numerous songs that mention or allude to california but i've narrowed it down to a handful. here's a sample of the track list:

dani california - rhcp
california dreamin' - the mamas and the papas
california - rufus wainwright
california love - 2pac/dre
san francisco (be sure to wear flowers in your hair) - scott mckenzie
californication - rhcp
california - phantom planet
california girls - beach boys
california gurls - katy perry/snoop dogg
hotel california - eagles
marina del rey - george strait
a long december - counting crows
beverly hills - weezer
la cienega just smiled - ryan adams

alright, time to call it a night. 5 am is going to come wayyyyyy too early...

New Zealand

2010-11-22T18:56:00.001-08:00

Click here to view this photo book larger

let me introduce to you:

2008-11-19T20:18:00.000-08:00

stuart todd whitworth.

stu and i have been friends since we sat next to each other on the back row of our second grade class and made origami figurines when our teacher (who also happened to be my mother) wasn't watching. i guess you could say that even way back then we were nerds. but we nerds now share a great appreciation for music. and we still look upon folded paper with fondness.

who is this joe plumber character anyway?

2008-10-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

after a month-longish hiatus from my blogging adventures, i decided to come back at hurricane ike-like strength with a topic that's currently hotter than the sun's surface, and one i know next to nothing about. (can you think of a more treacherous combination?) in fact, i don't think i would consider myself at all qualified to even blog un-intelligently about it, so it's a good thing i don't make any promises. do i even have to reveal the subject?

politics. the mention of the word itself shuts something down in my brain. just typing it makes my creative juices slow. it's just something i've never really thought or cared much about. i've never worried too much about what (or who - zing!) the president is or isn't doing, and i haven't been able to name the speaker of the house or the whoever of the senate since my freshman political science class with professor jon bond (hey, i'm impressed i remembered his name at least). i'm not proud of my apathy, and i know a lot of it stems from ignorance. after that, the only thing remotely political that i concerned myself with in college was meeting both george (sr.) and barbara bush on campus on numerous occasions. (in case you're dying to know, george is tall tall tall and barbara is fiesty. both are wonderful, kind people.)

until this year, i probably wouldn't have spent time and blog space writing about a topic that so clearly demonstrates my lack of political prowess, but with one of the most heated and historical presidential races in recent history (or ever? i don't have research to back that up), i figured it's something worth a mention. why not, even if all it does is amuse you, reader?

i grew up in a republican household. did i know what that really meant? nope. even in a bible study after college, one of my friends shocked me with the question "can you be a christian and a democrat?" i honestly thought she was joking. i swiveled my head around to face the poser of the question and she was eagerly awaiting an answer. what in the world? well, i was not aware that those two things were mutually exclusive, that the republican party was the 'christian' party. seemed a bit too legalistic and judgmental to me. still does. man, i wish i could remember more about that discussion, but again, my brain must have shut down with the mention of politics. it's a disease really.

let's throw the topic of religion aside for now. growing up, my basic (and probably somewhat erroneous) understanding of political party affiliation was that the republican (conservative) party was the one generally favored by the white (maybe it wasn't just white, i don't remember) middle to upper class. as a child of two white upper middle class parents, i was raised to believe that the republican party was the 'better party' or 'our party' and that the democratic party is way too liberal, where liberal equals 'don't go there.' i never really asked why, but merely accepted that since my parents were republican, by family law i was to be one too. it's strange that i never really questioned it since i have a history of questioning most everything else. if i were to one day claim 'hmmm, i think i'll be a democrat today,' would my life change all that much? other than playful parental reprimand, i wouldn't feel much effect.

fast forward to 2008. no longer do i live in dallas, but in liberal austin, texas. most of my friends are staunch democratic obama supporters (and many are christians - oh dear, there's that 'discrepancy' again), and i couldn't care less. it's not like i'm going to de-friend (dang it, did i really gank that term from facebook? now that influence is a real cause for worry) someone because they are siding with a party that is different from the one with which i have traditionally (albeit loosely) identified. i don't love based on political affiliation. in fact, six months ago i took a quiz on the major debated issues, and i basically was split right down the middle of the two candidates. could i be 'turning democrat'? crossing to the 'other side'? who knows? i don't like this all or nothing mentality that tends to come with bi-partisan politics.

it's amazing to me how heated and passionate people are about what's to happen come november the fourth. i know it's a big deal - i get that - but it interests me to watch how passionately personal people can get when talking about candidate this and candidate that. i wish i had enough understanding and knowledge to join in on an intelligent political conversation. i have started to become more interested in the drama itself than the actual issues at hand. that will eventually evolve, i am certain.

i have figured out why this is so difficult. i have a handful of family members and highly respected friends that argue quite ardently for mccain; at the same time i have just as many (or more) friends that are sold on obama and have no trouble selling him to me. like many, i don't know who to believe. everything i hear seems to be extremely biased. it's frustrating to a point where i threaten to vote for nader or myself or whoever is playing on my ipod at the moment.

yesterday i stepped out on a limb of uncertainty and attempted to spark a political debate in my principles of business class. who knows, maybe i'd learn something? i had a class set of wall street journals with a feature article on - you guessed it - decision 2008. on the cover were large color photos of both mccain and obama's faces, and they looked like they were in heated debate with each other. the kids for the most part seemed really interested in the article, and while my debate ~~flopped~~ didn't really pick up like i had hoped (i didn't learn anything new), i did find it interesting that some kiddos were informed enough in their teenage minds that some had gone so far as to graffiti the candidate's face that they were 'against.' i will say that we had about the same number of graffiti-ed obamas as mccains - pretty even split.

i decided today that i wanted be ignorant no more. i refuse to let my upbringing automatically make my decision. i am going to learn this stuff and make my very own decision. i brought one of the graffiti-ed (pure coincidence that it was an anti-obama edition) wall streets home with me and studied it. i studied what each candidate said about each issue. unbiased. open-minded. and what did i find?

on paper, overall obama impressed me more than mccain ("well, the wall street journal is pretty liberal, honey" was my mom's response). after my discovery, i called my mom and carefully shared this information with her because we had been discussing the topic a few hours earlier. i honestly expected a laugh or a 'that's interesting.' not so much. mom watches fox news all day long and, like many, thinks obama is the gateway to the terrorists and that he only claims to be a christian to win the election (she did have a point with his whole refusal to swear upon the bible, requesting the koran instead - what was that about?). well, my admission really scared her. i just sat there as she started rattling on about obama this and obama that. i put the phone on speaker and started doing things around the house after a while (sorry, mom). after about twenty minutes, she apologized for 'talking my arm off' (not sure what happened to the ear; apparently she goes straight for the appendages), and admitted that she panicked at the possibility of me casting my vote for the enemy (in her eyes). after some reassurance that i was basing my assessment completely on the article and that it wasn't my 'final answer,' she calmed down considerably. wow. serious stuff.

so here we are. i'm more confused than ever. i'm just going to take it day by day and try to learn as much as i possibly can before the big day. in the meantime, ross perot sounds like a safe bet.

how to lose your dignity, ms. r-style

2008-09-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

how to lose credibility in the classroom, ms. r-style

2008-09-23T11:43:00.000-07:00

by: ms. r

step one: on the first day of school, make sure to stress the importance of your school's honor code. create a sense of fear in the classroom by dictating the horrific consequences of violating the sacred thou-shalt-not cheat (or do anything else teen-agery inappropriate in the "eyes" of the school) decree.

step two: honor the honor code. if you do find or even suspect a student in violation, then you must investigate immediately and with a stern face radiating immense sobersidedness. for example, if you overhear a student verbally and overtly admit to cheating, no matter how breezy, blithe and fallacious the comment seems to be, you must treat it as a serious and substantial breach of high school legislature.

step three: approach the student in violation with an air of authority, and with gusto, clearly formulate in your head the following command regarding the overheard comment: "that is an honor code violation. therefore, i must report you." couple that with a look of utmost disapproval for extra effect. if you feel that this look will prompt an angry parent phone call tears, use sparingly.

step four: the most important step of all. upon delivery, mince your words completely. for some extra spice, toss in a dash of inappropriateness. instead of delivering your perfectly-constructed mental tirade, throw the student this tasty curveball: "that is an honor code. therefore, i must violate you."

step five: do not remain calm or stay your normal skin tone. as the class erupts with the inevitable laughter, muster up the darkest shade of crimson possible and do not even try to hold the chuckles inside. throw back your head and try to laugh the loudest of all! we're losing credibility each second here, people! if you do this correctly, the student will actually look pleased with him or herself.

step six: drop the issue completely, crank up the ipod, and move on with class as usual.

channeling olivia

2008-09-21T19:51:00.001-07:00

for the love of the cavaliers.

kids write the darndest things

2008-09-10T21:17:00.000-07:00

week three.

we're still in "new year" mode. classes are still shifting; kids are moving around. it can be frustrating too. one day my marketing class had 21 students, and the next it had jumped to 32. that's a 50% increase in one day! basically, i had to start the class all over again.

the kids are starting to look like actual people instead of just teenage clones. this is when it starts to get fun - they open up more and show their true colors (this, clearly, can be good and bad). i find myself, even this early in the year, forming bonds with these young pups. they have unique ideas and they have a lot to say if you take the extra few minutes to stop teaching them and let them teach you.

today, my day of classes concluded with a hearty chuckle. i was in my computer lab and we were wrapping things up for the day. i was sitting at my desk getting ready to head downstairs at the bell along with the kids, and i looked up to see one of my girls hovering at my desk. she sits in one of the far corners of the lab and is on the quieter side, so i had yet to really have much contact with her by this point. a petite brunette with large animated eyes, i knew it would only be a matter of time before this youngster shared a part of her personality with me.

"what's up, megan?" i asked. "miss. r, can i write something on the board?" she asked me and pointed to the white board behind me.

"uh, ok...exactly what do you want to write?"

"just want to add onto that." she said and pointed to the word "princess" that was already written on the board. i honestly don't know why the word was written up there, but i don't teach every class in there and it happened during one of the few periods that i am in my other classroom. "well, ok...." and turned to supervise. (you learn quickly that you must always closely monitor anything that adolescents write, especially on a highly visual medium.)

after "princess" she added the letters "a-b-l-e," set the marker down, and turned to me expectantly. am i supposed to understand this? princessable? i repeated it aloud and she grinned proudly. i still didn't get it. help me out, megan.

she saw my confusion. "you know, like we have here." (huh?)

with a look that screamed 'c-MON, teacher!' she elaborated on her little creation: "like a PRINCE-ABLE [principal], here we have a PRINCESS-ABLE [princess-ipal]," referencing our new female principal this year.

ahhhh, clever. i admit, sometimes these little minds have some pretty cute ideas. too funny.

speaking of funny....please watch this. it basically had me laughing all weekend. not responsible for tunes stuck in heads. and this will get stuck in your head. you can thank me later.

click this. i will figure out how to embed video later.

three days in and i've already hit the floor

2008-08-27T17:55:00.000-07:00

ah yes, the first week of school is currently upon us. i was mentally ready to start school this year but physically nowhere near as ready as i was last year, my first year. strangely, i was not stressed or nervous at all, even when i arrived monday morning to find that the student desks had NOT been delivered to my empty classroom as promised. since my classrooms, yes rooms, are located in a brand new wing of the school, some things were overlooked. you know, insignificant extras like desks, keys to our rooms, trash cans. things you never use anyway, right? if there's one thing i've learned about working in education, it's the art of improvisation. instead of getting upset, i marched my students to the cafeteria to grab their own chairs in which to sit, and i didn't even get too upset when the maintenance crew insisted on shoving the desks into my room DURING my first class. "we was told to keep 'em moving" they said when i asked them to come back later. fine. you win. i just want furniture.

on that same note, because the school opened several new halls this year, most of the hallways were re-lettered. monday morning, map in hand, i was ready to help the poor souls find their english and algebra classes with an encouraging smile and a confident point in the right direction. after all, i'm a teacher so i am an expert in this, right? i was doing really well telling the timid little ones where to find the new 'j' and 'k' halls, because those were both unfamiliar halls to all students (and most teachers for that matter). then a kid came up and asked me where 'd' hall was. i had yet to have that request so i paused for a second. and blanked out completely. all i could come up with was "i...uh....don't..hmmm..." and started looking around for assistance. i am not sure why i also forgot i was holding a map. that must have been part of the blank-out. luckily (or unluckily for my sake) an administrator was standing nearby and overheard the request. "right here," he said to the student. suddenly i snapped back into consciousness and recalled that not only was i standing in 'd' hall, but that both of my classrooms are located in said hall. when i make a blunder, i make it count. i decided after that episode to call it quits on hallway cop for the day and shuffled the ten yards back to my classroom.

in 'd' hall.

the first day of school is always monotonously exhausting. a typical class consists of introducing myself in front of a captive audience (on the first day the kids are the most quiet that they will ever be all year), introducing the course, handing out the syllabus, going over the syllabus, going over the laws of the land, and then finishing up with a cheesy 'get-to-know-you' game. the reason for this game is two-fold: to help me learn names and to fill up the rest of the period. this year i chose the game 'two truths and a lie' to play with my classes. the rules of the game are quite simple: the students stand up one at a time and tell two true things and one lie (about themselves) and the rest of the class tries to guess which one is the lie. genius, i thought. it would take up a lot of time, i'd learn names, and we'd learn a thing or two about each other. i didn't worry too much about the content of the shared information because the majority of students (save that socially inept handful that don't have filters between their brains and mouths) are pretty reserved that first day.

i was right. the first day was pretty tame. i learned that one of my students is related to elton john and that sir john is "not very nice." i learned that one of my kids is lance armstong's god daughter. another is family friends with eddie van halen's brother, and knows the lead singer for the band system of a down. one girl regularly swims at a member of led zepplin's house. of course you always have those outrageous lies that are easy to spot: "i'm a raging alcoholic and crack addict." i told him that better be his lie or i'd probably have to report it. luckily it was (and i'm going to believe it). that was probably the worst the game got the first day.

day two was a slightly different story. i had a new group of kids as well, but like us teachers, they get tired of the same old syllabus song and dance. the kids were more daring, more open. i learned a lot more about this round of students. my first 'b' day class stood out especially among the throngs of two-truths-and-a-liers. one student that i actually had for a while last year but left school for some unknown reason stood up in front of the class and delivered his first two statements: "uhhhh, i've been stabbed several times......i spent 10 months in a correctional facility......and i can't think of a lie." great. that's comforting. i looked around at the other students who had likewise checked for my reaction and saw a mixture of fear and 'tell me he's kidding' in several of the babies' eyes. ahem, moving right along. in my most upbeat breezy voice, i called on the girl next to him. please redeem this, i silently begged. she stood up and thought for a moment before sharing with us her three clues: "i was born in amarillo.....i'm pregnant.....and i have been to italy." what?! ok, i'm out. i am not even trying. this time it was me looking around for help, hoping someone would speak up. several of them shifted uneasily in their chairs, especially after seeing me do the same thing. finally one of those filterless kids yelled out "hey! you haven't been to italy!" as i silently prayed 'please let her have been to italy.' but my prayer was not answered. "that's right," she said and sat down. ok, so she's with child, and she just announced it to the entire class. what do i do? well, i did the only thing i thought i could do. i awkwardly congratulated her and again quickly moved on to the next person, but inside i was reeling. i sighed with relief when the bell (or more like door chimes this year) sounded to end that class.

another entertaining item of business reserved for the first few days of school is the roll call. i generally preface roll call with an advance apology for name butchering and direct them to correct me if needed. and i usually need correcting; that's normal. but yesterday, something odd happened during roll call that is not normal. i was running down my list of names (which are divided by grade level on the roster) and in the middle of the freshmen i called out "nicholas anderson?" (*name changed for privacy). instead of a usual confident "here!" i heard two confused ones. i looked up to see two boys with their hands raised looking from me to each other with quizzical looks on their faces. just as confused, i scanned my roster to find that i had two kids with the exact same name, one grade apart. what are the odds? clearly they didn't know each other either, but quickly began to battle with each other for who would be called the shorter version of their name (nick vs. nicholas). after i made the executive decision to let the older one go by nick, the younger one took matters into his own hands and insisted that he too would be called 'nick' but spell it 'n-i-c.' so verbally we have to say 'nick, no k' and 'nick, with k.' the things i do for these kids.

really, it's the least i can do. these children have no idea how special they are to me, especially the ones i've known for a year now. i am confident that i will be able to build some wonderful relationships with this new batch of children as well. they are the reason i am able to get through my days. they are the reason i smile as i walk through the school. the precious girl that came up to visit me not once, but twice during my work week (and her last week of freedom), and was just content to sit with me as i ran around doing odd jobs and worked on my room, and now comes to visit me every day after school for at least half an hour. or the former student that tried to get me to eat my lunch at his table today so we could catch up on our summers (but i couldn't) so he came in after school just to hang out and talk about his future (and my personal life - he wishes). or the sweetheart that brought me blueberry pancakes and a big hug this morning 'just because.' or one of my kiddos from last year that broke away from his group of friends to cross over the continuous stream of hallway traffic and chase me down for a hug, proclaiming 'i have been looking for you everywhere!' there is nothing quite like the relationship between a high school student and an educator. we potentially wear so many hats for these kids: educator, mentor, role model, friend (when appropriate) and sometimes even big sister/brother/parent (also when appropriate). it's such an amazing thing when you realize you have actually made a positive impact on someone and see the fruits of your 'labor' manifest themselves even in the most seemingly insignificant of ways. but none of them are insignificant. not to me.

on a lighter, less syrupy note, i am generally pretty coordinated. i can dig a volleyball, return a ping pong ball, shoot a basketball, catch a softball, and occasionally hit a golf ball successfully. standing, apparently, is a different story. today i clothed myself in some rather tall, but surprisingly comfortable, wedge sandals. i have worn these stylish things for years and have had few problems with them. today in my marketing class, i was standing at the front of the room, monitoring the students as they diligently worked on an assignment. the key word here is standing. i was not walking; nothing was in my way. all of a sudden my ankle rolled for no reason. normally that wouldn't be a big deal. it would be a little awkward and uncomfortable, but nothing more. rolling an ankle on a three-inch wedge, however, leaves little room for salvation. one second i was up, the next i had crumpled to the floor. all the way. bum on tile, feet splayed outward. being the second day of school, the students didn't know how to react. is she hurt? did she faint? where'd she go? trying to shake the embarrassment the best way i knew how, i laughed heartily (thereby encouraging them to join in) and proclaimed that i would just stick down there for a while since i had made the trip (or rather, the drop). i do make it a point to warn all of my students the first day of school that i am somewhat clumsy and that they should be ready. i just don't think they expected (nor i) to experience said klutziness on day two. after spending a minute or so with the tile floor i decided to rejoin the professional side of teaching and stand up again. at least i got the promised spill out of the way the first week.

of course tomorrow's another day. i am looking forward to the humor it promises to bring. and hopefully it will bring my new classrooms' much-needed trash cans with it.

next-day edit: my trash cans arrived (finally!) and i'm wearing flats.

She

2008-06-03T18:58:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in my room listening to one of my favorite Billy Joel songs ("She's Always A Woman") tonight and it got me thinking: if that song was written about me, what would the lyrics be like? In a similar spirit, though drastically different style, I composed my own list. The items are in no way lyrical or even poetic, but they are all true. Through this process, I learned a thing or two about myself. Oh the power of writing things down!

She is infinitely complex yet naively believes she is simpler than others.

She embraces her quirks and continually searches for them in others.

She prizes relationships over possessions and demands the same of those she holds close.

She's picky but realistic.

She will hold you to high standards, even if they are somewhat unrealistic.

She is occasionally judgmental and is distraught when the realization strikes her.

She does not tolerate what she deems as foolish, but will give you miles of slack if she thinks you're worth her time and pain.

She is overly obsessive about matters dealing with her pride and her heart.

She is not perfect and doesn't demand perfection. She only requires that you give improvement a fighting shot.

She will try to correct a defeatist attitude every time she sees one.

She needs occasional reassurance.

She longs for loyal companionship.

She will be your closest ally if you let her break through your personal barriers.

She sometimes suffers in solitude for fear of isolating others.

She bears emotional pain that she desperately tries to cover, but the thick scar tissue occasionally works its way to the surface.

She disdains the fear of imposition and may smother you with apologies.

She is embarrassed by flattery but relishes in it just the same.

She hates giving up but can discern when the fight is futile, whether she will admit it or not.

She is trusting but hesitant. She desperately wants to see and believe the best in people, but never forgets that we are all human.

She laughs when she's happy, and cries when she's moved.

She is a fierce competitor but is able to graciously accept defeat.

She rests when she feels secure.

She craves intimacies of the heart.

She hangs with her boys but is undoubtedly one hundred percent female.

2007-03-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

KINSEY, MARY JEAN, Born September 16, 1918 in Wichita, Kansas and passed away March 15, 2007 in Dallas. Mary Jean worked in admissions at Southern Methodist University for 16 years. She was preceded in death by her husband Charles Kinsey in 1987. She is survived by her daughter and son-in-law, Jan and Jim Riddlebarger, and her son and daughter-in-law, Bob and Sheila Kinsey and four grandchildren: Jennifer and Jamie Riddlebarger and Amy and Ryan Kinsey. Mary Jean was a beautiful person inside and out, and will be missed dearly by all who knew and loved her.

Grammy, I love you and miss you so much but I know and rejoice that you are in Heaven walking with Jesus, and have been reunited with Grandpa, as well as your friends and family that went before you. You were the second mother to not only four grandkids but also to a daughter-in-law and son-in-law, and we all love you very much. You'll always be with me in my heart until we meet again someday.

"the one where she has no idea what to write because so much time has passed since her last real entry"

2007-02-08T14:56:00.000-08:00

usually i like to blog about a specific event or a focused, concentrated span of time. as i sit here curled up in my office chair, huddled under a fleece blanket because the office thermostat is set at around fifty degrees, i can't think of anything that warrants a lengthy paragraph. ergo, i resort to snippits of info that fly into my brain that are worth noting from the past few weeks, bear with me:

(in no particular order)

* spent christmas eve with matt and family
* celebrated new years in austin with matt
* purchased my very own elliptical machine with my christmas money
* treated matt to his first dallas mavericks game (we won - go mavs!)
* spent a wonderful week in florida with the schukar family
* decided to go back to school and earn my masters, eventually
* visited my grandmother at her new nursing home after a year of not seeing her, mistook another lady as my grammy (oops)
* discovered that my roommate and i unwillingly shared our duplex with a small mouse and tried to trap it unsuccessfully
* decided to grow my hair out, enough of this bob
* surprised matt on his 26th birthday by faking strep throat
* returned home to find that ralph s. mouse had perished in the wall, permeating my entire home with an offensive odor, necessitating the procurement of numerous candles and air fresheners
* decided to teach high school business classes and began filling out my certification application this morning
* watched as the aggies beat the longhorns in basketball (whoop)
* watched the mavericks set new winning records!
* entered the world of mac
* rushed home from work several days to watch american idol, a first for me, "panther boy" remaining at the top of my list of hilariously pathetic performances
* began the first harry potter book to see what all the hooplah's about
* scored a green nano

well, that's about all for now. i will hopefully be able to come up with a little more detail to squeeze out a decent entry one of these days. until then, cheers!

"your coolness has just increased 5 billionfold"

2007-01-21T13:44:00.000-08:00

after quite a hiatus, i am back, and cooler than before. my boyfriend brainwashed me into buying a mac. ha, kidding. only the mac part is true. i'm still getting used to the in's and out's of everything mac, so forgive me if i haven't learned the shortcuts to cutting and pasting just yet. and don't worry, i'm not going to go sticking the apple sticker on my car until i do. :P

meet dylan

2006-12-12T21:58:00.000-08:00

Matt's adorable 2-month old puppy!

i want to be there in my city

2006-11-06T13:15:00.000-08:00

from the time i was born until the day i left for college station, i lived in the same split-level house in a nice middle-to-upperclass neighborhood in northeast dallas. it was a nice place to grow up, but my parents were always discussing their dreams of moving north to someplace quieter, less congested. afterall, we did live within yards of a busy ten-lane freeway, the sound of cars, eighteen-wheelers, and trains rocking the house my nightly lullabies.

we also had our share of crime. i still remember looking out the window and seeing an escaping trouble-maker dart through a police helicopter spotlight. and then there was the night i heard police choppers overhead once again, the next morning to find out a jealous boyfriend had hidden in his ex's house with an axe and was fatally shot by the police in the alley - the very same alley that my family shared. one of the last straws was hearing gunshots in the wee hours of one dark, rainy morning and seeing the shadow of a wounded man limp around the side of our house, clutching his side.

needless to say, when my sister and i were out of the house and in college, my parents decided to bid farewell to the city and make the move up to suburbia. they built their dream home in plano, tx on a terraced hill that overlooks a park about as far east of town as you can get without falling off the map of civilization. a city girl to my core, coming home from school was a bit of an adjustment. instead of a stream of cars, i saw vegetation when i walked out the front door. instead of exhaust, i smelled clean fresh air. i actually heard birds singing instead of the familiar squealing of city bus brakes as it slowed to a stop right outside our old kitchen window. ironically, however, it wasn't until i was living in plano one summer that someone broke into my car and stole all my contemporary christian cds.

while i missed the city, i found visits home to be quite enjoyable and quickly grew somewhat accustomed to this simpler scene. i even got a job and apartment for a few years up there. however, the city girl in me missed the busy scene and lights so much that recently i moved back to dallas, not too far from downtown. i love it; it's where i'm supposed to be. while visiting my parents this weekend i was reminded of just how different their world is. prompted by real events, some that occured as recently as this past weekend, i was so moved to compile a little list. ahem...

You know you're in the middle of nowhere when.....

...you nearly have a major auto accident from slamming on your breaks because a pack of wild coyotes run across the street in front of your car.

...you call to order a pizza and they pass you around to different establishments because they don't deliver that far out. when you finally find someone that will deliver to you they argue with you that your nearest major intersection does not exist.

...you walk out your front door, a brown recluse spider is dangling in front of your face.

...you have to watch your pet rabbits for fear the large hawks circling the area will swoop down and carry them away for dinner.

...your neighbor legally raises camels.

...the brightest light at night is the moon.

...the new taco cabana a few miles away is a hot topic of conversation.

...you get out of the shower and hear what you think are whistles or whooping, after some sick peeping tom sees you through your open window, so you hit the floor only to realize the sound is coming from coyotes howling outside your window.

...broken windows at the local elementary school cause a small frenzy among local residents. after reviewing surveillance cameras, authorities learn that the damage was not caused by vandalizing hoodlums but a goat that wandered onto school grounds, saw its reflection, and tried to fight itself.

there actually may be more city in my parents than they thought. after all the work they put into their new country home, their newest idea they are bouncing around is to sell it and move to a highrise loft downtown. yeah right. parents can be so funny.

"the average american woman is 5'4" tall and weighs 140 pounds...

2006-10-20T14:35:00.000-07:00

...the average american model is 5'11" tall and weighs 117 pounds. most fashion models are thinner than 98% of american women" (smolak, 1996).

ladies and their weight. we look at the glowing, airbrushed, and cellulite-free photos of models in fashion magazines and think we were all created to look that way. though i know better, i am sometimes guilty of this fruitless comparison. i saw on tv how magazine editors use computers to elongate legs and even shorten the appearance of necks. fashion magazines, media, and an over-all standard for what is considered "beautiful" by american society has driven both men and women to eating disorders. this has become an increasing concern over the decades....

...but what you don't hear as much about are the abrupt, overt declarations of apparent weight gain (real or not). enter exhibit 'a': myself. yesterday, as i was strolling through the semi-crowded parking garage on my lunch break, i bid a coworker a cheerful 'hello' as i passed her on the way to the door. a few moments later, the (tactless) coworker thought it necessary to stop, turn, and yell from several yards away 'hey! jennifer! are you gaining weight??' stunned, shocked, surprised and horrified all at once, i asked her again what she had inquired, certain i had heard wrong in my post-lunch lethargy. sure enough, much to my dismay, i had heard correctly the first time. mortified, i responded with an indignant "no!" and scurried inside as fast my evidently chubby legs could carry me.

true story. like any other girl, i am very aware of any sort of weight change, no matter how slight. a few pounds in any direction can make a large impact on a small frame. my weight fluctuates frequently and this coworker just happened to catch me on a more self-conscious day. lesson of the week: if a girl looks the least bit larger, she knows. no need to point it out.

i was supposed to go to austin today but i don't know if i am anymore. matt is sick, and as much as i'd like to go anyway and take care of him, i can't afford to miss work. dilemma.

we shall see where the wind blows me.

"a little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." - wonka

2006-10-04T08:46:00.000-07:00

on friday, thirty or so friends from around the state gathered at my new duplex to fraternize and indulge in some tasty delights. in the center of the table of edibles loomed a cascading chocolate fountain, flowing with five pounds of rich chocolate greatness. i had given it to my sister for christmas last year, but it remained in the box at my parents' house, untouched. until friday. if you've never had the chance to play in a regular fountain, well, that's sad. but let me just say that playing in a chocolate fountain doesn't even compare. here's to you, augustus gloop!

don't worry. my germs are nice germs.

don't stop, don't break.

2006-09-19T12:40:00.000-07:00

last weekend was satisfying - musically rich and full of good company. austin city limits attracted visitors from all over to enjoy the three-day fest (rumor has it that the gyllenhaal-armstrong-mcconaughey triumvirate graced the scene on friday). i however went to see my matt and my newest musical interest: sufjan stevens. matt got third row tickets to the saturday night show at the paramount theater, and it was so incredibly breathtaking. he played a new song that i just can't (nor want to) get out of my head: majesty snowbird. watch for it, as it's yet to be released. saturday was also his
roommate christiaan's 25th birthday, and he attended the concert with us. good times were had by all.

the night before matt and i met up with an assortment of friends and acquaintances at baby a's for dinner. i had about 3 sips of my blue margarita and passed it on. i've been pretty adverse to alcohol lately, but that's not a bad thing.

my favorite quote of the day:
it was the size of a large dime. oh wait, there are no large or small dimes. well, it was the size of a regular dime. - my sis

i can see a lot of bright in you.

2006-09-15T08:40:00.000-07:00

headed down to austin today!

matt & sufjan, here i come!

someone drank a glass of morbid juice this morning

2006-09-14T07:49:00.000-07:00

phone convo this morning with my sister while we drove to work:

jamie: ...so i called the post office and they said to contact my mailman.
me: like you even know who that is.
jamie: yeah, i just remember tom (our childhood mailman).
me: oh yeah, i remember him.
jamie: didn't he die?
me: uhh, i don't know.
jamie: oh wait, i'm thinking of mr. rogers. he died.
me: oh funny you brought that up actually. remember mr. peppermint?
jamie: yeah, he died.
me: he did? i didn't know that. anyway, you remember his little puppet?
jamie: did he die too?

minutes later....

jamie: did michael jackson die or did i just dream that?
me: no, he did not as far as i know. you must have dreamed that.
jamie: hmm, and i was all about to google him when i got to work. some celebrity died though, right? i feel like i heard something.
me: um, ann richards, former governor?
jamie: ohhh she died?
me: yeah...
jamie: i also dreamed that i died, but it turned out a little boy did instead.
me: what is going on in your subconscious?

important note: this conversation was uncharacteristic, thus the humor. she's a pretty normal girl usually. :)

ignorant bliss

2006-09-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

51 Days...
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?"
The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight.

Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. . .the side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"

~*~

i may be a natural blonde (and an aggie - double the jokes), but i love the fun poked at our expense. i received this today via e-mail and thought i'd share a smile or even a chuckle with you.

"if something ever happens to me, people are gonna be like 'we knew a croc would get him!'"-steve irwin

2006-09-05T14:14:00.000-07:00

sadly it was a stingray that claimed mr. irwin's life yesterday. the fearless khaki-clad, animal enthusiast with the thick australian accent (and gave new meaning to the exclamation "crikey!") will be missed around the world. he left behind a wife and two young children. rest in peace, crocodile hunter.

on a lighter note, i've decided to cut sodas out of my diet, effective today. matt volunteered to be my drill sergeant and accountibility partner. wish me luck, as i do love pepsi's sweet, sweet nectar.

attacking his musical and lyrical impulses

2006-08-31T13:51:00.000-07:00

i'm excited to announce that my long-time friend and ex-bandmate david karsten daniels recently signed with fat cat records, the same label behind the eclectic sigur rós. you can read more about him here. congrats to david on a well-deserved nod in the ever-competitive music scene.

fresh new digs

2006-08-30T13:32:00.000-07:00

i've always been told that imitation is the best form of flattery, so be flattered, my imitated. yes, i too have decided to make the leap to blogspot. xanga has served me well for over a year now, but it's time to up the ante and experiment with the new and improved. should you not know me, i'm jen. i felt it felicitous to begin this blogging adventure and introduce myself with a random list of 50 jen-isms, if you will. buckle up, here we go.

1. my immediate family all share the initials j. r.

2. when i was little i wanted to be a vet and a radio deejay on the side.

3. i have relatively large irises (eyes) that change color with my outfit (blue/green).

4. i attended texas a&m university and miss those 'good ol college days' quite a bit.

5. i'm a bit obsessive compulsive about some things.

6. i'm not a morning person.

7. i was born a month premature and had to stay at the hospital in an incubator for several days.

8. i used to hate asparagus but now it's one of my favorite veggies. same with guacamole.

9. black jelly beans are my favorites.

10. i often have dreams that my teeth are falling out.

11. i love the beach and going to the lake but large bodies of water freak me out.

12. i usually prefer dark purple rain clouds to sun.

13. i can't fall asleep if i know someone is watching.

14. bargain shopping is the best way to go, but i don't usually deal with coupons.

15. i find myself strangely drawn to ridiculous tv shows.

16. i can't stand the words "nude" "couture" and referring to something really great as "sick."

17. my ears are double pierced. i don't have any tattoos, nor want any.

18. singing and playing keyboard are my musical first-loves, but i own a tornado-red fender squire bass to which i aspire to give more attention.

19. if i didn't live in texas, i would want to live in florida.

20. my only living grandmother suffers from dementia and frequently forgets what she did 5 minutes before, but remembers songs from her childhood.

21. once an avid coke-drinker, i'm now a pepsi girl.

22. my orthopedic surgeon had only seen 5 knees like mine out of the 3,000 he'd treated as of 1994, when he operated on mine for a discoid meniscus (torn cartilage).

23. my sister is my best friend.

24. i got glasses to correct a lazy eye when i was 1 year old.

25. i tend to cry more on movies where animals die than when humans do.

26. my first car was a silvery-green honda accord. it had been my dad's.

27. it bugs me when people interchange the words 'itch' and 'scratch'.

28. i'm a pack rat and tend to collect things. some notable collections in my past: unsharpened pencils, stickers, bath products, CDs.

29. stringed instruments give me chills like no other instrument can. yes, that does include piano.

30. i love going to live shows, but tend to favor studio recordings to live recordings.

31. i've always wanted to pursue photography. one of these days...

32. my 1-year-old jack russell maggie sleeps with me. she hogs my queen-sized bed.

33. i never really use umbrellas. i don't really mind getting wet - unless it's cold.

34. i used to have light blonde hair. now it's dark brown. it's naturally somewhere in between. i like it better dark and don't have plans to go back to blonde anytime soon.

35. the only time i've ever traveled outside of the u.s. was on a cruise to the caribbean right before i graduated from college.

36. my adult beverage of choice is a vodka cherry sour or a nice riesling.

37. my dad's side of the family is german/american indian. my mom's side is welsh.

38. i've never been to a movie by myself.

39. i've never received a speeding ticket (2 warnings).

40. i love rollercoasters.

41. for some reason, the song 'somewhere out there' from the movie "an american tale" always makes me cry.

42. i prefer jewel tones to pastels, and black to brown.

43. i can be very competitive. i can turn if off like a switch though.

44. ping pong is a hidden talent of mine. i absolutely stink at bowling.

45. sometimes i write letters to people that upset me, but never give them to them.

46. chewing sounds make me cringe. prolonged chewing sounds make me irritable.

47. a blonde friend and i used to keep a journal of our blonde moments. that ceased when my hair ceased to be blonde.

48. when i was younger i used to go by jennie because jennifer didn't fit on the christmas stockings my mother made for the family. it changed to jennifer in elementary school and then to jen in college.

49. i make my own jewelry.

50. i like random trivia.